The White Page
  A Road Diary


  Friday, July 23, 2004      
New York City

Revue rolls on –
minus one

The Rock n' Soul Revue has taken a brief break after its first month of touring. Band members and crew alike are somewhat shagged out and in need of some R&R and home comforts for a minute. Asked how he thought the overall situation is after twenty gigs of all shapes and sizes, Lenny Rogers the stage manager replied “I'm off,” and disappeared into the night, albeit covered in whipcream from a crew send-off.
Previously he had ruled the stage with a rod of iron and woebetide the miscreant who was unready to perform five minutes prior to hit time. In fact “The Wrath Of Len” was seen as a must to avoid.
Let's hope his next ‘charge' will toe the line.
Candidates are currently being grilled at the RSR headquarters for a suitable replacement. Several have been seen lurching from the New York office in varying degrees of distress. A spokesman for the group, when asked if torture was being used, said “Eh?” and ran off down the subway.

R. Mageddon, staff reporter



“Whites” Laundered
(Chloe Rox, via API)

A new and luxurious part of daily life on the Rock N' Soul Revue has been the facility to have clean & pressed clothes for each performance. AWB member Onnie McIntyre said that there was no way he would return to the old rough and tumble-dry world of AWB and its once-weekly laundry quest.





Asked how he intends to fund this extravagance, he said, “See Alan,” and wandered off to get a pint of Guinness from the catering tent.
This ‘miracle' of stain & crease removal is thanks to the unending toil of the wonderful Sherri and her array of local helpers in the dungeons of backstage. We found them by following the trail of steam and the grunts   of sweatshop labor. When questioned about the amount of love and care that went into this burden, Sherri said,“I'm off,” and got on a plane for Brazil.
We are therefore unable to bring you details or the volume of work this entailed, but we are assured she will be back for the second leg of the tour.   Mr. McIntyre said, “Good, ‘cos I'm starting to smell already”.



Bush in Texas ?

At yesterday's White House press conference, this paper's representative asked the Press Secretary if Mr. Bush would attend the Oct. 8 Houston show. He promised to bring it to the President's attention span, but did give us a bit of inside gossip that the ‘Bush Girls' were huge Hall & Oates fans, and used to have bendy-toy models of the pair which they would, as teenagers, play a game of “find the duo”, with all sorts of girlish hiding places and much giggling. It would of course be a major boost to his election chances if he were to show up and discuss the plans for his Presidential Library with H&O saxman, Cheerful Charlie DeChant, who has a Marvel comic to donate.




Kerry in Boston?
(Dennis Lehane)

Angie slid out of bed, nursing a king-size hangover and answered my knock at the door. “What's up, Kenzie?” she sputtered as I brushed past her semi-clad form and headed for her coffee machine. “It seems, Ange, that Kerry was at the Rock N' Soul revue last night at the old Harbor Lights Pavilion”
“Wow,” she said, and I sensed I had her full attention; “Yeah, and another thing – it's now the Fleet Pavilion: whaddya make of that?”
“Boy, Patrick, you are one hell of a sleuth”, she drooled but she felled me with her usual backhand…”Betcha didn't know it was Bank Boston Pavilion before that!”

Don't miss next issue's serialization of Kerry In Boston


Freddy V named MVP

Fred Vigdor, AWB's rail-thin saxophonist was named MVP (most venal player) for his triple duty on the initial run of the Revue. Not content with blowing his brains out with the White Band, he had Michael McDonald's sax player ‘nobbled' so he could muscle in on that scene, and then showed up like the proverbial kudzu vine on the encores. A spokesman for the RSR said, “We are instituting a wage-cap for the next run so this sort of reckless profiteering and wanton disregard for other union members' welfare will not go unchecked”.